


Welcome Home

by IsleofInk



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Huddling For Warmth, Hurt/Comfort, Jyn Erso Needs A Hug, Not Beta Read, Sharing a Bed, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Stubborn Jyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22527946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsleofInk/pseuds/IsleofInk
Summary: "They trusted each other with their lives; knew beyond certainty that they would never have another partner that they could rely on so completely. In the heat of battle they communicated without speaking; their intent and thoughts clear in their movements and the way they looked at each other. But the intensity of the circumstances in which they met and the heavy losses they had sustained so early in their partnership created a fissure between them during any kind of downtime that neither knew how to breach."
Relationships: Cassian Andor & Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 11
Kudos: 86





	Welcome Home

Jyn Erso slammed her fist into the wall of the supply room; ice splintered out in all directions. She huffed when she saw the dent her hand had left. 

I shouldn’t be able to dent a wall. And walls should not be made of ice, she thought. But walls built of compacted snow and ice had been her reality for the past two weeks. Her first night on Echo Base had actually been a relief. She had returned from a weapons acquisition mission on Jakku where she had spent one week on the desert planet--most of her time spent there was bartering for parts to repair the ship which she had been forced to crash land. The weather had been hot and stifling, a problem only amplified by the lack of power on her ship. 

So when she had first arrived on Hoth she had been delighted by the cold, crisp air and used the change in climate as an excuse to curl up in the ship’s cabin underneath the comforting weight of several blankets and Cassian’s parka which he had left with her during his mission to Jarnollen. However, weeks later the cold had seeped into her bones and every movement of her hands and feet was laced with pain. Why couldn’t the Rebellion establish a base on a more temperate planet? 

She winced as she bent down and unsnapped the lid on yet another supply crate and began to rummage through it for a heating pack. Jyn gave an incredulous snort as she realized this crate held nothing but blaze bug nets and sun protector spray. At least they were prepared for a sudden evacuation to an insect-infected beach. 

She opened a bottle of the sun protector and inhaled the scent as if the memory of the sun on her body could warm her. 

The door of the supply room hissed open and Jyn turned to see Cassian walk into the room giving the bottle in her hand an amused look. 

“Planning on laying out in the sun later?” he asked. 

“Hilarious,” she replied, shooting him an annoyed look. “I was looking for a heating pad or a blanket and I found this instead. I’m so relieved that we are prepared for all climates--except the climate we are currently in.” 

He shrugged.

“The sun protector could come in handy the next time you have to go to Jakku. Grab a few bottles.” 

Jyn sighed. As always, Cassian was looking towards the next mission and preparing himself for all contingencies; he never seemed focused on the present. But his vigilance was the reason that they had made it out of near impossible situations more than once so she nodded and stuffed several bottles into her bag. 

“And I’ve told you,” he began in an insisting voice, “if you’re that cold just take a mattress from the barracks and come sleep in my quarters.”

Jyn sighed again--her primary reaction to Cassian in recent months. 

“Did you come in here for a reason? Or were you just feeling the sudden urge to dole out orders?” she glowered. 

He frowned. “I’m just offering a solution.” 

Jyn looked at him tiredly. It wasn’t as if his offer wasn’t tempting--it was. Cassian was one of the few people on base to have a private room instead of being assigned to the barracks. Over two decades of service to the Rebellion had to have some perks. But their partnership had been strained as of late and Jyn was hesitant to add any more tension into the mix by sharing a room no bigger than a closet. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. The cold is just making me irritable.” 

Cassian scoffed. Irritability was one of Jyn’s main personality traits, climate notwithstanding. 

“But to your question, I did not come in here just to ‘dole out orders.’ We have been asked to do a perimeter sweep for Wampas before the hangar door is closed for the night.” 

Jyn groaned and rubbed her eyes. The very idea of going outside in sub-zero temperatures was enough to make her want to pack her bags and go settle on a twin sun planet. But she had committed to the Rebellion and now the Rebellion was now requiring her to hunt down Wampas in unforgiving weather. 

Cassian gave her a sympathetic look. The temperature on Hoth was not comfortable for him, and he had been born on an ice planet. So he could only imagine how overwhelming the cold was to Jyn and the other soldiers. 

“Come on,” he stepped toward her and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll help you get geared up quickly and the sweep shouldn’t take more than an hour.” 

She nodded resignedly, replaced the lid on the opened supply crate, and followed him out of the supply room towards the main hanger.

*

Cassian deftly fastened Jyn’s gloves to her forearms ensuring that no skin was exposed and that her thermal layers were covered by the insulated outer shell of her jacket. Satisfied that she was bundled up properly, he drew his attention to his own gear. Jyn watched him with a pensive look on her face. It was obvious to anyone watching that they both cared a great deal about each other; this wasn’t something that they tried to hide. Being the sole survivors of Scarif meant they were inextricably bonded. They had spent the weeks after the destruction of the Death Star clinging to each other in the medbay. They celebrated some, content that the sacrifice of their friends and loved ones had not happened in vain. But mostly they grieved. They cried together and held each other. Each being an anchor to the other to keep them from drifting too far away.

Jyn had awoken one night in the medbay to see Cassian’s parka on the floor next to her with the transponder removed from it. Cassian had been sitting on the edge of his bed with his Lullaby pill between his fingers. Jyn had sat up slowly and mirrored his position on her own bed. She slowly reached out and touched his face, silently pleading for his eyes to meet hers. When he finally looked at her they had held each other’s gaze, both of them with tears in their eyes, until he dropped the pill into her open palm, laid down in his bed and turned his back to her. She had replaced the transponder and Lullaby in his jacket and draped the parka over him before returning to her own bed for a restless sleep.

They had never spoken of this. 

They trusted each other with their lives; knew beyond certainty that they would never have another partner that they could rely on so completely. In the heat of battle they communicated without speaking; their intent and thoughts clear in their movements and the way they looked at each other. But the intensity of the circumstances in which they met and the heavy losses they had sustained so early in their partnership created a fissure between them during any kind of downtime that neither knew how to breach.

So Jyn’s solution was a barrage of derisive remarks and Cassian’s was brooding silence tempered with straightforward statements. 

Still, usually any awkwardness was assuaged by the strong bond they had when they fought by each other’s side. However, for the past year Cassian had been assigned more and more solo missions and Jyn had frequently been sent to the Outer Rim to recruit new Rebellion fighters and suppliers (Cassian frequently enjoyed reminding everyone of the irony of Jyn Erso facilitating Alliance recruitment). So when they were reunited on Hoth, the distance between them only increased. 

“Ready?” Cassian asked, bringing her back to the present. 

She gave him a small smile, “Of course.” 

They walked through the hanger door and were hit with a strong wind gust. Even through her many layers, Jyn shivered. “I don’t even remember what it feels like to be warm,” she muttered. 

Cassian looked back at her holding her gaze for a moment, his face unreadable. “Come on, let’s get this over with. Check the generators and electrical system for any loose wiring and be ready to stun any Wampas that you see. You work clockwise, I’ll work counter, and we will meet back at the South gate. Check in through comms every ten minutes.” 

Jyn looked at him, her expression under her goggles now as hard to read as his, “I know the drill, Cassian.” 

He glanced at her again, this time wearily, and nodded. They synced their timers and began to walk in opposite directions.

*

Cassian glanced back with frustration at Jyn walking away from him. He didn’t know how they had gotten to this point. Even though he trusted her beyond reason, Jyn often felt like a stranger. With both of their busy mission schedules they barely saw each other and unless they were in the heat of battle there wasn’t much that they spoke about. He supposed years of solitude and grave childhoods didn’t lend themselves to emotionally available adults. 

He missed the closeness he had felt towards her in the weeks following Scarif. They had been inseparable for those weeks. First in the medbay and then sharing a corner in the Yavin 4 hangar. They had placed mattresses side by side and often slept facing each other, fingers brushing against each other in the middle of the night. They had never felt the need to define or talk about the obvious connection between them. To feel it had seemed to be enough. 

They should have talked. He didn’t know what Jyn was to him or what he felt towards her. He knew he felt loyalty, affection, protectiveness, and love, even (although what kind of love he didn’t know). And he was sure she felt the same towards him. She showed him these traits when they were fighting, in battle. Whether it was pushing him down to cover him in a blast, making sure he always had a medkit near him, or covering him while he was sleeping. He knew she cared for him. And he would do anything for her. 

But now? Their electric partnership and unspoken friendship didn’t seem to be enough anymore. He wanted more of the types of moments they had shared before. More of the intimacy and closeness that he had never before experienced with another person. But maybe that was no longer attainable. Maybe that was a fluke brought on by the enormousness of the situation they had been in. 

Cassian scowled and glanced at his timer. Time to check in with Jyn. “Rouge 3 to Rouge 2, do you read me?” 

He paused to listen for a response. Static greeted him on the other end. 

“Commander Erso, do you read?” 

Static still resounded back at him. Cassian began to feel a weight settling in his stomach. 

“Jyn! Damnit, can you hear me?” 

The radio crackled again before Cassian heard a faint response, “I’m here.” 

Relief flooded through him as he touched his forehead to the radio. 

“Why weren’t you answering?” He asked, more sharply than he intended. 

Silence greeted him in response. Cassian’s panic and relief was starting to morph into frustration. Sometimes he swore that she did things just to make his blood pressure rise. 

“JYN!” he yelled into the radio, “What is going on?”

A pregnant silence and then, “I’m stuck.” 

“What? Stuck where?”

Jyn’s frustrated tone carried over through the radio. “I’m stuck under a pile of snow. I was trying to free myself when you checked in, but I think I might need help.” 

Cassian chortled at that. The great soldier Jyn Erso bested by a mound of snow. He imagined the only thing that frustrated her more than that was the fact that she now had to ask him for help to free her.

“I’m coming now to help you out,” he radioed. “Don’t move,” he added on with the most serious voice he could muster. The silence on the other end indicated she was not very pleased with his last comment.

He was correct. When he reached Jyn he had to use every bit of self-control he possessed to keep his face in a neutral expression and not start laughing. She was buried next to the main shield generator with only her head peeking up from the snow and compacted ice that covered her. She looked at him with a scowl that indicated she did not find _any_ humor in the situation. 

Cassian took a breath to control his tone and asked as casually as possible, “How did you manage this?”

Jyn glowered at him. “The power cell on the shield generator looked like it was flickering so I tried to knock the snow and ice off the top to see if that was the problem. And, well, I knocked it off but then it fell towards me instead of in the front and I got buried.” 

Cassian frowned at this. The snow that had been resting on the generators was dense and very compacted. She could have been seriously hurt. 

“Are you okay? Did it hit your head at all?”

“I’m great,” she replied automatically. And then relented at the look that passed over Cassian’s face, “I’m just cold, the snow is starting to seep through my clothes. And no, it didn’t hit my head.” 

Cassian’s frown deepened. If the snow and ice was seeping through her clothes she was not okay. She could easily go into hypothermia if she didn’t warm up soon. 

“Alright, let’s get you out of here.” 

He set down his com unit and blaster and began to shift the solid pieces of ice off of her. He then took off his helmet and began to dig around her torso trying to loosen the snow that had gathered there. He stole a glance at her face. She was expressionless and completely silent, staring straight ahead and pointedly not looking at him. Years of fighting alongside her had taught him that the more expressionless she was, the more she was feeling and subsequently trying to hide. Whether it was fear or something else, he didn’t know.

“Jyn,” he said softly. “You’re going to be fine.” 

She stared straight ahead as he continued freeing her body from the frozen mass around her.

*

By the time Cassian and Jyn walked back through the hangar doors the sun was almost set. They hadn’t been able to finish their perimeter sweep and would just have to hope that the Wampas hadn’t discovered any of the new electrical grids the Alliance had installed on the outskirts of the base.

Cassian glanced sideways at Jyn. Her clothes were soaked and she was shaking uncontrollably. More concerning, her lips were tinged with blue. 

“Come on, let’s get you to the medbay.”

Jyn scoffed at this. “I’m fine Cassian, I just need to change clothes and warm up…” she stopped suddenly, looks of annoyance and resignation coming over her face simultaneously. 

“What is it?”

She stopped and closed her eyes. “I sent my spare clothes to the laundry this morning.” 

Cassian looked at her, amused. “Then let’s just go to the medbay. They can make sure you don’t have any severe effects from the cold and get you some clothes to change into.” 

“Cassian, no. I don’t want to go to the medbay. I just want to change clothes. I’ll go look in the supply room.” 

“Did you see any there earlier?”

She huffed. “No, but I’m sure there’s something in there I can use.” 

Cassian looked at her incredulously. Her stubbornness knew no bounds. 

“Just go to the medbay!”

“NO! I don’t need it.” 

Cassian brought his hands to his head in frustration. He rubbed his face and then turned to Jyn and scowled. 

“Fine,” he growled with menace in his voice. “Then come with me.”

“Come with you _where_?”

Cassian put one hand on her back and grabbed her forearm with his other hand and started to propel her forward. 

“You’re coming to my quarters. You can borrow some clothes from…”

“...I don’t need to,” she interrupted.

“YES YOU DO,” he bellowed. “I can’t make you check yourself into the medbay, but you do not have time to go rummaging around in the supply room for clothes. You’re already shaking and you feel like ice. This is not a joke. You’re coming with me. You can change clothes and then fuck off wherever you want to go.”

Jyn and Cassian seethed at each other as he continued to propel her forward. They passed several other people in the hallway, each trying to pretend that they couldn’t see or hear the yelling. 

When they reached Cassian’s door he keyed in the code and pushed her in, not without aggravation, and shut the door behind him. 

Still fuming, Cassian opened his closet, grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt and threw it at Jyn. 

“I’m going to the refresher. Change clothes and then I don’t care what you do.” 

Jyn watched as Cassian grabbed his own clothes to change into and then swept angrily into the refresher, slamming his hand on the keypad as the door slid shut behind him. 

Furious but still freezing and starting to shake violently, Jyn peeled off her wet clothes and began to put on the dry ones that Cassian had provided for her. She grimaced at the blue tinge on her hands and feet. 

She knew Cassian was right and that she should have gone to the medbay but she hated the smell of the place. And if it got bad enough she could always change her mind. Really she just hated the idea of asking for help. She knew she was being stubborn and she knew Cassian was just trying to help (she would do the same for him), but years being forced to fend for herself often kept her from admitting weakness or asking for help even when she needed it the most. She just didn’t know how to ask for it--even from someone she trusted as implicitly as Cassian. 

So she shut down or lashed out whenever she felt herself becoming vulnerable. This, she imagined, was what had driven a wedge between the two of them. 

Her eyes began to sting from both the cold and frustration. She finished pulling on the dry clothes, but was no less freezing. 

The refresher door hissed open behind her. Out of habit she turned around to glare at Cassian. 

“I was just leaving,” she said quickly, still trembling. 

Cassian stared at her. His face had lost much of its anger but still held traces of it. Mostly he just looked tired. 

“Jyn,” he began running his fingers through his hair. “Just sleep here. It’s freezing in the barracks. You’re still shaking. I’ll go sleep on the ship. Just take care of yourself.”

“I _am_ taking care of myself,” she shot back. “I have a blanket in my bunk. I just need to go lay down and I’ll be fine.” 

She turned her back to him and reached for the door controls. She heard him inhale as if he was going to say something else but at that moment the lights in his room cut off. 

Jyn felt anxiety spreading in her chest. She hit the door controls knowing it was in vain. They didn’t budge. Thanks to her outdoor mishap they hadn’t completed the perimeter sweep and Wampas had most likely wandered too close and had torn out the electrical wiring causing the base to lose power. 

Jyn felt tears starting to well in her eyes. The last time the base lost what little heat it had she had thought she was going to freeze to death and _that_ hadn’t followed her being buried in the snow. 

She felt helpless. This was the crux of things. Cold weather, outdoor mishaps, and being trapped in a room with someone who tempted her to let her guard down--these were things she couldn’t actively fight. She had no control here and it terrified her. She was too emotional now to stay here. But she didn’t see another choice. 

Her voice hitched in her throat as she turned to face Cassian, wrapping her arms around herself in an effort to warm herself. 

Cassian began to move towards her, slowly. His face softened as he saw how stressed she was becoming. “Jyn, stop it. Just stop fighting me. I am here for you. I want to help you, I just need you to let me. _Please_.”

Tears began to well in the corner of her eyes. “I don’t know how to do that.” 

“Can I show you?” he asked, his voice throaty with emotion. 

She gave him the smallest of nods. Almost imperceptible given the amount that she was shaking.

Cassian stepped towards her gently and rested his hands on her shoulders. He frowned when he felt how cold she was through the shirt she was wearing. He slowly stepped a little closer, being careful not to make her feel trapped, and gently moved his hands to her back while resting his mouth on her temple. 

“You’re cold and you need to warm up,” he murmured.

Jyn, who was starting to feel the first vestiges of warmth in hours, was suddenly too tired to argue. She let Cassian wrap his arms completely around her and draw her in towards his chest. She stiffened a little as he pulled her close; this was the first time they had been this close since Scarif. He loosened his grip slightly and moved his mouth to hear ear. 

“Take a deep breath,” he whispered. “I know it frustrates you to feel helpless, Jyn. But I know you are anything but that.”

Jyn tilted her head up to look at Cassian, her mouth open in shock. How did he…

Cassian gave her a soft smile. “I know you better than you think, Jyn.” 

He gave her a slight kiss on her forehead and stepped back. She looked at him with a questioning expression. 

“Now. You’re still freezing, and if you don’t let me warm you up now I will send a distress signal straight into the war room and get them to blast open the door and take you to the medbay.” 

Jyn scoffed at him. For a withdrawn spy, Cassian often had a flair for the dramatic. But she realized that her body had been moving from simply freezing to painful so she acquiesced. 

She moved towards the bed, Cassian’s hand not leaving her back. She sat down on the bed and moved herself back against the wall. Cassian toed his shoes off and sat down next to her, pulling a woven, blue blanket over them both. 

Cassian gingerly put one arm around Jyn’s shaking shoulders and eased her body into his chest. He adjusted the blanket so it covered her entire body and began to move his hands up and down her arms so she could start to warm up. 

At first Jyn stayed remarkably still, adjusting to the sensation of her body against Cassian’s. This was a type of intimacy that she wasn’t familiar with. But after several minutes, Jyn felt her muscles begin to relax--an effect brought on by both the warmth she was absorbing from Cassian’s body and the indistinguishable words he was muttering into the top of her head. 

Her mind drifted back to a memory she had long buried from before their attack on Scarif. After rallying forces for the Rebellion (and for her), Cassian had looked deep within her and told her, _welcome home_.

She began to unfurl. 

Cautiously she moved her own arms to wrap around Cassian’s waist and moved her left leg into the space between his own. She felt his breath hitch for a moment, but then his arms tightened around her, leaving no space between them. 

Minutes (or hours?) passed by and Jyn began to feel her blood circulating through her body again. Finally warm, she breathed a sigh of relief. The adrenaline of the past few hours also began to wear off and her eyes began to flutter shut. 

Cassian felt her breathing start to even out and gave a small smile, relieved that she was finally relaxing, and content that he had been able to help her do so. After everything they had been through together, simply finding peace in the other’s presence had been the most challenging. 

“Cassian?” Jyn’s voice broke the silence.

He acknowledged her by tightening his arms around her yet again and gently kissing the top of her head. 

“Thank you,” she murmured. 

His heart swelled. 

“Anytime,” he whispered back. 

She moved her face to rest in the crook of his neck and breathed him in. 

_Welcome home_.


End file.
